Chapter Summaries
Question 1 Summary:
- Remember your goal at this point is to determine “what’s really going on?”
- Look at your family member as an individual with unique value to the people who care about them. Evaluate their “ages:” Chronological, Physical, Cognitive, and Psychological.
- Check out their Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities / Conditions and Mental Abilities / Conditions.
- If necessary, establish a “baseline” for the future.
- Start Observing, Asking questions, and Researching resources.
- Be prepared! Be patient!
Question 2 Summary:
- Look at all the different groups that can provide possible caregivers for the senior: Immediate Family, Blended Family, Extended Family, and “Like” Family.
- Take the senior’s feelings, priorities, and beliefs into the equation. Help them sort thru some of the uncertainty.
- Determine Proximity, Expertise, and Tangibles: Physical distance, emotional closeness, professional skills and credentials, background and abilities, time, money, work and family obligations.
- Realistically, assess what value each potential caregiver can offer. Ascertain any anticipated gaps in resources that can be located or added thru other means.
- Decide what you can do to start bringing these resources together for a positive outcome.
Question 3 Summary
- Do your due diligence. Actively research resources in your local community, state and federal organizations.
- Find senior knowledgeable professionals who value relationships.
- Give “recommendations,” not orders.
- Aim to reach consensus with all the decision makers.
- Know what your options are BEFORE a crisis hits.
Question 4 Summary
- Always try to keep things in perspective. What seems essential today may be trivial tomorrow.
- Work to Balance today’s needs with tomorrow’s necessities.
- Learn to Anticipate changing concerns.
- Work as a team to Negotiate solutions, whether they are short-term, interim, or long-term.
- Decide - don’t put off making choices out of fear. Understand that it is better to explore options while everyone feels more in control.
- Being in a crisis can only exacerbate the stresses and uncertainty of “did we do the right thing?”
Question 5 Summary
- Be informed and understand what to expect.
- If at all possible, don’t try to go it alone:
- Allow the senior to be involved
- Talk to family and friends
- Check out local resources
- We are all getting older and will have to deal with our own aging and the aging of loved ones.
- You can’t change the past, you can’t predict the future: Forgive, Accept, Release.
- It’s never too early, it’s never too late…PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!
- Know that YOU still have a life with dreams and plans for the future. Hold on to that and make those dreams happen!