Chapter Summaries

Question 1 Summary: 

• Remember your goal at this point is to determine “what’s really going on?” 
   
• Look at your family member as an individual with unique value to the people who care about them. Evaluate their “ages:” Chronological, Physical, Cognitive, and Psychological.
   
• Check out their Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities / Conditions and Mental Abilities / Conditions.
   
• If necessary, establish a “baseline” for the future.
   
• Start Observing, Asking questions, and Researching resources.
   
• Be prepared! Be patient!

• Look at all the different groups that can provide possible caregivers for the senior: Immediate Family, Blended Family, Extended Family, and “Like” Family. 
   
• Take the senior’s feelings, priorities, and beliefs into the equation. Help them sort thru some of the uncertainty.
   
• Determine Proximity, Expertise, and Tangibles: Physical distance, emotional closeness, professional skills and credentials, background and abilities, time, money, work and family obligations.
   
• Realistically, assess what value each potential caregiver can offer. Ascertain any anticipated gaps in resources that can be located or added thru other means.
   
• Decide what you can do to start bringing these resources together for a positive outcome.

 
Question 3 Summary

• Do your due diligence. Actively research resources in your local community, state and federal organizations.
   
• Find senior knowledgeable professionals who value relationships.
   
• Give “recommendations,” not orders.
   
• Aim to reach consensus with all the decision makers.
   
• Know what your options are BEFORE a crisis hits.

• Always try to keep things in perspective. What seems essential today may be trivial tomorrow.
   
• Work to Balance today’s needs with tomorrow’s necessities. 
   
• Learn to Anticipate changing concerns. 
   
• Work as a team to Negotiate solutions, whether they are short-term, interim, or long-term.
   
• Decide - don’t put off making choices out of fear. Understand that it is better to explore options while everyone feels more in control. 
   
• Being in a crisis can only exacerbate the stresses and uncertainty of “did we do the right thing?”

• Be informed and understand what to expect.
   
• If at all possible, don’t try to go it alone:
  • Allow the senior to be involved
  • Talk to family and friends
  • Check out local resources
     
• We are all getting older and will have to deal with our own aging and the aging of loved ones.
   
• You can’t change the past, you can’t predict the future: Forgive, Accept, Release.
   
• It’s never too early, it’s never too late…PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!
   
• Know that YOU still have a life with dreams and plans for the future. Hold on to that and make those dreams happen!